Dirty Pair x Halo
by Kurogane7
Summary: AU: Five years after Master Chief has been found, he has been put to work on the 3WA's task force. His new mission will deal with a foe he had believed ended with the Covenant-Human War; the Insurrection. ChiefxCortana/Yuri/Kei Harem.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: This is an Alternate Universe…and my first foray into crossovers. A few changes from the preview, no harm done. So please read and review this so that I can see if this story is worth continuing…and also, I'll give a bit of a history lesson on what happened so far in the next chapter.

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_**Weapons/Equipment: Ever since the Covenant races have integrated with the UNSC, design elements and tech from all races under the alliance have been integrated in the latest models of small arms developed by Misriah Armories. Weapons engineers from the Sangheili, Jiralhanae, and even the Kig-Yar have pooled together their knowledge with the humans to create devastating weapons that are seen in arsenals everywhere. Basic implements in all armories include:**_

_**M6P "Puncher"— This variant of the venerated M6-series pistol has a smart-linked scope and uses a semi-automatic firing mechanism to fire up to eight 50-caliber rounds (usually hollow-point)…the mechanism itself makes it so that each bullet is enveloped in a sheath of plasma to make it easier for the user to deal with enemies wearing shields in much the same way as full-metal jacket rounds against armor, hence its nomenclature of the 'Puncher'. This pistol is rarely ever seen in civilian hands, but very commonly seen among the military.**_

_**MA6 ICWS "Razor"—this assault rifle has become a standard weapon used by many militaries in much the same manner as the Automatic Kalashnikov 1947 assault rifle due to its reliability, low cost, and ease of repair, especially with the UNSC. Improved spring strength in the firing mechanism and an addition of a weaker gauss cannon in the barrel has made the MA6 assault rifle much more efficient at dealing with shields than the MA37 and the MA5 series without compromising the reliable armor penetration capabilities of its predecessors in combination with tungsten-carbide rounds similar to that of a Jiralhanae Spike Rifle. The gun comes with various underslung attachments from an energy bayonet developed by the Sangheili to a 40mm grenade launcher.**_

_**M10 Antipersonnel "Needle" Grenade—the Kig-yar had developed a special grenade with inspiration from the Type-2 Antipersonnel Grenade and the Type-33 Guided Munitions Launcher. This grenade is commonly used in counterterrorism operations, but is also used in special operations as well—when it detonates, the area would be covered in more than 500 crystalline shards, and any target within the grenade's 'sight' will be tracked by each needle. This is not a sticky grenade, but it is still rather versatile as it comes in both a hand-thrown variant and a 40mm variant that could be used in a grenade launcher.**_

_**M180 CAWS "Hammer"—drawing back on older designs, Misriah arms had made a design in collaboration with Jiralhanae and Sangheili weapons engineers for a multi-purpose combat shotgun that would be used for tight-quarters combat. The result was the M180 CAWS—this weapon could switch between pump-action and full-auto and was useful in repelling boarders in the form of pirates and other such threats. The gun utilized a Type-1 Energy Weapon/Sword for the handle in order to power the weapon, utilized a firing mechanism based on the Type-25 Grenade Launcher, and incorporated gauss technology to make the deal even sweeter. The shotgun was chambered in 12-gauge, and could fire anything from 00 buckshot that humans and Jiralhanae alike were known to favor, up to a special nonlethal slug for police forces to incapacitate criminals. There is also a riot control option available to turn this gun into a semiautomatic grenade launcher known as the "Sledgehammer"**_

_**SRS-100 AM "Impaler"—a sniper rifle with superior gauss technology to all other weapons of the UNSC. It is not as expensive as the legendary M6 Grindel/Galilean Nonlinear Rifle that was made exclusively for the UNSC military forces (it is roughly an eighth of the cost), but even despite its cost, it is worth every penny due to its superior penetration power to all other ballistic weapons beating out even the Type-50 Sniper Rifle System and its predecessor. It uses the same technology used in the Particle Beam Rifle, but it adds gauss technology as well as rounds from the SRS-99 series to enhance stopping power—while special mechanics reduce recoil, allowing for the weapon to be used in a semi-automatic firing mode.**_

_**M300 SAW "Ripper"—a heavy machine gun that fires 12.7x108mm rounds formerly used in many Russian heavy arms. It is usually used as a turret, but heavy weapons specialists tend to favor this weapon on account that it can saturate an entire area with bullets rather quickly for excellent suppressive fire. Each bullet is a sabot round, containing a highly explosive core that detonates upon contact with shields and even body armor; combined with Jiralhanae technology used in the "Spiker", it has become more efficient against vehicles (more so against a Warthog than a Scorpion) and just as effective against rogue Mgalekgolo bond pairs involved in terrorist actions.**_

_**M42 SSR "Thunderbolt"—a surface-to-surface rocket launcher, normally used to take down heavily-armored vehicles…as close to bridging the gap between the Impaler's cost and the Spartan Laser's raw power. The new SPNKR II rockets that this launcher uses contain a plasma warhead to penetrate shields and a depleted fuel rod for a core to enhance explosive power. The use of gauss technology in the barrels of the launcher turns the user of this gun into a portable MAC gun.

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Tortuga IV, near the border between UEG and Sangheili Empire territory…

The planet of Tortuga IV was a very beautiful oceanic planet—lots of beaches as the landmasses were simply small islands speckling all over the planet with very few continents, the three suns were a good distance away, and the sound of hormonal teenagers coming out for Spring Break was always welcome. Two rather beautiful women had rented an island on this particular planet for some good-old-fashioned rest and relaxation from their job at the 3WA. One woman had a dark tan and short red hair in addition to emerald-colored eyes, while her companion had a paler complexion with long black hair and shimmering blue eyes. To anyone who didn't know any better, they would have looked like the supermodel type—to those who knew of their reputation, they were Kei and Yuri. Their favored name was The Lovely Angels…but to those who know better, they are known as: The Dirty Pair.

The two of them had been relaxing on their company vacation for the past few hours now. "This is a good change of pace Yuri; a two-week vacation with pay! You know what that means right? No more angry mobs due to excessive collateral damage, no more bosses getting angry over large amounts of lawsuits, no more hassle at all! Nope! None whatsoever! For the next two weeks, it was all relaxation!"

"Yes, a picnic was in order for the day…as a matter of fact, I have something for…" Yuri was startled by the sound of "Ride of the Valkyries" and the sound of a phone ringing which had disturbed the calming sounds of the waves flowing about in the air and splashing across the beach and smashing against the rocks; causing her to toss the bowl of egg salad she was picking up from the basket onto her equally-startled partner as Kei started flailing her arms around in disorientation. Before the contents could be emptied out on Kei's head, Yuri managed to catch the bowl in midair with both hands just as the former managed to pull herself back together. Kei grumbled in anger as this was their chatter units going off—she liked that song a lot when she was kicking ass, but now? When it was VACATION TIME? This had better be some kind of sick joke! Yuri set the salad bowl down, and reached into her handbag and pulled out her chatter, Kei doing the same.

The sound of depression in the case worker's voice was very clear. "I'm sorry to disturb your vacation ladies, but we've a situation."

Kei did the best to mask her anger, but all she could successfully do was growl out the answer through her teeth. "What the hell kind of situation warrants calling us getting out of our vacation after just a few hours?"

"You may want to turn on the TV…you'll see what's up."

Kei and Yuri looked to each other with confusion in their eyes. What the hell? Both kept their chatters on, and walked towards the holographic TV screen they had in their hut, turning it on, and showing a female reporter in a red suit…with a picture of a destroyed planet behind her.

"…This just in! Reports indicate that Harmony VII had been destroyed as an act of terror by an unknown group. The damage seemed to have been caused by a heavy MAC gun bombardment upon the surface of the planet. No survivors have been reported. Harmony VII was a planet well-known for its multicultural government among all species…Sangheili dojos of some renown could have been found, Jiralhanae operated in many mixed-species construction projects, Kig-Yar police officers aided in the capture of criminals…so many people of many cultures in cooperation with each other…lost to this tragedy that had ended the destruction of the Harmony system for today. Government officials suggest that a reemergence of the Insurrection has begun, and many corporations such as the infamous 3WA have been contacted to deal with this problem…"

The case officer's tone was very serious…it was as though he could sense the shock and sadness in the room from the other end of the chatter. "You will get further details when you get your mission—the United Species Alliance is going to make damn sure that it's clear that we aren't going to be tolerating this sort of bullshit. Also, you're going to be working closely with another team…"

"Is it going to be specified, or…"

"We're doing the lottery to see what teams get partnered up with whom. I only pray that whoever is partnered up with you is actually going to get along with the two of you. I still remember that time that Kei clocked Shasti over the head with her 9mm."

Kei let out a small chuckle. "Yeah, that bitch said that I owed her money over that Sangheilios Warriors game in the Balaho Coliseum. Just because I trashed the stadium doesn't mean I lost the bet!"

"I don't blame her for bitching—I lost 2,000 credits on that game because of you, you freaking idiot!"

Yuri noted that Kei was not going to let it slide, and immediately cut into her friend's tirade before anything "Don't worry about it, we'll be there at HQ!"

"Don't bother…you'll be meeting your teammates at the location—you'll be getting the mission upon your arrival at Luxor in the Epsilon Eriadni system."

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Worlds Works and Welfare Association Headquarters, Epsilon Eriadni Branch, Reach…

"Oh crap…oh, no, no, no, NO!"

The Worlds Works and Welfare Association's case officer had a very pale complexion and was already balding despite his age of 34 due to the folder containing the multiple pages of a dossier in front of him…no, this was not good at all! The worst-case scenario had presented itself. It was already bad enough with Kei and Yuri causing as much destruction as they did being involved in this case, but once the lottery drawing he received had been sent to him, the numbers and words did not lie. And now he was to be meeting the man who would be working very closely with those Lucien-model collateral damage bills. If the Dirty Pair were known for the massive destruction of property, then this guy would be their rival in terms of terrorists eliminated.

Now don't get him wrong, there was hardly a racist bone in his body; he had nothing against genetically-altered humans in general, and the respective hatchets that humanity had with the former Covenant races (with the exception of the surviving San'Shyuum Reformists and Old Covenant Loyalists) were gradually getting buried one species at a time as they all learned the truth of the Great Journey and the Halo super-weapon array, he still didn't want to deal with this particular man he was about to meet. As a matter of fact, give him that genetically-modified demolitions team…give him a stinking pack of former Jiralhanae black ops…maybe even a battalion of Sangheili warriors or Mgalekgolo bond pairs…anything but this man. The case officer was practically terrified him in every sense of the word…how he can be every bit as intimidating as he was in his armor as he was out of it and without even trying was beyond him. Perhaps it was because of the augmentations he went through made him really big and bulky that he had no problem with intimidating anybody; maybe it was the fact that he caught his wife ogling at him and that massive and muscular body of his; or maybe it was because of the things he had seen in the war that had made his gaze rather powerful.

In any case, the last thing the case officer wanted was to have to deal with this man; granted, he appreciated everything he did in the war, but the man still terrifies him to this day. He was only thankful that that man-sized main battle tank never made a move on his wife…and thankful that his partner that had recently gotten herself a body was extremely possessive of her man. In fact, he'd much rather be dealing with that acid tongue of hers rather than have to be terrified of his mere presence. He then watched as the door slid open, and in walked the man he both idolized and feared in the entire galaxy.

"This is Master Chief Petty Officer Sierra-117 reporting."

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_**A/N: A bit short, I know, but this is only a preview. This'll probably going to be the biggest harem-fic I'll be working with, and possibly the most challenging story I'll ever write. As before, your reviews will determine if this story is worth writing, so do read and review would you kindly?**_


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